arbit v 1.1

3 packs of cigarettes, 4 cups of black coffee, really grt music ,, playin in the background, a nice book to read, i guess cant live my life alone , have always been one of those people who would rather be known as steppenwolves, people who always are alone or they fathom that they are always alone, something changed me really, am wondering if iam a misanthrope, could be, have been so stone like , i guess, it is like iam buildin a wall around myself, away from people , friends relationships , family, been consumed by this mad drive of being there, for you, dont know but dont seem to trust anyone, not able to inspire trust in anyone, my words today to a friend of mine , ok rather acquaintance, who was workin towards collectin money towards havin a L^2 on beisn asked help was in plain two words , FUck off, though it was not literally the same, but this deep distrust in human society is diggin into me, yes accepted no man is an island , but am feelin that iam slowly choppin off the oars on the canoe to build a fire

peace , but materialism seems to be the mantra at a B school, iam the jackass says the fuck who inherently is the biggest jackass the earth has ever seen but incidentally the other jackasses dont seem to think the same, their thoughts run " he is the biggest therefore he is the best" dont seem to be communicating well nowadays , really need someone to reinstall the pleasure in livin and that person i presume ought to be me , cause nobody ever comes to u unless they have a need
Ah selfless deeds well sounds romantic, i guess rather be a romantic than being the cynic who is a hypocrite,
little gestures , well people sure are intelligent but the perception that other are less endowed is what hurts me and i go by the same one too,
another meaningless post my my iam really alone tonite ,

Guess ought to take a trip to rediscover myself
will post later Ciao, the unseen passerby

well this could be the crappiest thing that u ave ever heard , listening to last dance with mary jane on repeat, i ought to be sleepin , of the stupidest mushiest thing that could ever happen i guess is fallin in love with a name. sounds corny, but it is ok , nothin lost until i meet a person with the sam e name , which i guess is gonn a be relatively rare
gettin bummed at my workplace, all i can seee is an excel sheet and fiorums tryin to promote a program, innovative idea advertising in forums but feels sad intruding into other people's privacy and i want be a marketing manager, quite a big dilema i have got myself into well sleepin for the nite
p.s two women gave me some really werid looks at the campus was psyched, dont even know them , and in the passin heard a comment about smokin and never seen witout a ciggie, guess ought to quit now, can't have people who dont even know you throw their emphathy on you, havin enuf troubles with people i already know
so am gonnna try or die tryin

Rememorizing:


well well as i have to start a sentence with well , so be it, am still in office, it is gonna be a really long n ite waitin for my other project mates to finish their work so that we could start on the next one, well i guess today is gonna be a long walk home, was doin nothin in particular today, got my assignment, that is to go meet all the proj leaders in the vicinity conduct a research, quite the traditional one , way different from my vision of revolutionising the way work is done at my firm, yup had a chance , blew it, so life goes on as you say, was reading thru other people's blogs , kinda never knew that loads of people felt the same way, surrounded by hypocrites, or rather phonies which incidentally is my fav term to describe anything in the world which is remotely capable of self realisation.
life is kinda suddenly so lonely up here, have all my friends within commuting distance, my family pretty nearby, a call away, but off late have been feelin pretty down, well maybe the d**kin was a bit too much, too many memories out to haunt you from the past, your old failures, well they keep on comin and hittin at you, formulated this nice propaganda for educating kids, well guess wahat almost everyone i told this thing were skeptic about it, more than criticizing the faults , it was more like an attack on how could such a thing work, why cant anyone try anything without having to criticise it for not being their idea, let us see, how it goes about, if it works well an good , finally will have a feeling of accomplishing something after a long time
phonies , copycats , the world is made up of them as u know, was sittin with all mateys on l^2 but as usual the talk always turns out to be bitchin at someone, by people who think they are pretty decent, bloody hypocrites , just realized one thing their life is all about bitchin and gossiping, have no idea what goes on behind by back, but i guess don't give a damn about their opinions, they can have theirs waitin for the wing to come back will cream them, no more introverted chain smoking bozo, ok only the introverted part goes out, enuf is enuf as the new age kids would proclaim in mail tongue,
let us see what can be done, one good thing about today is the feelin that i a'int the only one who is confused, gonaa go try some cheap sunglasses, ciao zztop it is
Tomorrow shall bring me back here hopefully


i have a dream so ? rather vehemently my body refuses to belive what i saw in the dream was real, life just goes on, yup me was this nice c hap singin out to all those who wanted to hear but the echo still hurts me, insomina is better than a lost reality distant , so appeasing, one which gives u power to be omnipotent, the creator, maybe this is why i