Lament of the Unsure

I yield you say i have no backbone to speak of,
I decide you say i do not have the right to do so
I Beg, you say i am desperate
I maintain my distance you say I am not paying enough attention
I communicate you say not during this time
I enjoy the time spent with you, you think otherwise
I agree on how things should be done, you say take a call
Eternally confused on what means what, why cant life be direct
Life as a process document i understand, the trouble is I am not able to map the nodes
The preconditions i accept, Asceticism i accept, Life as such as is an accepting bitch
Is there hope to be seen in the most dreary situation
A small imp on the side needles you, you still have hope? followed by a wicked smile
Another imp on the side remarks good things happen to those who wait
Another Little imp says grab the opportunity when it arises
Another Little imp advises a middle path
Are these imps manifestations of your choices, you wonder, the imps are hard to resist

Follow one you fall
Follow all you fall


A nonsensical post, if it makes sense to you, please do get your head checked

the HP Stock lament

Up Up Up, there are Apples to be had, I wish I went up
Down Down I go, What will satisfy you, you fickle minded investors
I have sacrificed kings, I have bared my all before you
Akin to playing chess, I committed the biggest blunder by revealing my moves
I was your "Darling" when the Accountant led me
My people revolted, they were culled, i still allowed him to have his say
for you, for you " you thankless heartless bums"
I moved him for the sake of my people and you called me an idiot
I got in a nice looking head of state, you still called me an idiot
I tried convincing you, he looks professorial, he knows what he is doing
I realized i screwed up, I chopped him at great loss of face, and you still bought me down
Now the time for revolution has come, I have brought in a new queen
and you still bring me down

hear my lament, what fickleness will please you
is it my name which pains you, or is it the fact that you like giants to fall

I know you are fickle, but I do know my intrinsic value

I have been around longer than you, your dads traded in me , so will your sons

Eternal Hope, Despair and life in the middle

Of photographs and late night blogging

Let us face the fact I look butt ugly, well the lord almighty did have to create people like moi to make the rest of the world secure in their shell, living with a body like mine is like driving a rambshackle fiat now", the only trouble is an upgrade out here is far more risky and costly I kind of have a skin which resembles obsidian sandpaper, my folks would describe it as Wheatish dark in my matrimonial ad very soon and a nose which pinocchio would have been proud to have, a chin which projects as much as liz Hurley"s cleavage, I mean yesterday"s news paper view well enough of my description, the idea on writing this sketch was to describe the identity card which my firm provided, I kind of look like a hot Samoan on my I'd card it is moi only except for the fact that I was 15 kgs more than what I am now, and I am at least 7 shades darker than my identity card snap, this story is about this lady who met me virtually in the office, she saw my ID card snap on my profile, assumed something and decided to ask for a date, well I am as opportunistic as the human race normally is, I accepted and the poor lady had to endure me in the flesh for a couple of hours, I reckon she has quit the firm and moved out of the country ( this story is pure play drunken imagination)


The above passage was a rant against the lord for not making moi look like a hunk, life surely would have been easier now for another parallel well kind of parallel as perpendicular gets in this world, I remember meeting this girl after a report writing class, she looked gorgeous, none of my close chums, men and women agreed and I had decided this was the lady I wanted to spend my life with, youth kind of makes you choose life partners with an enviable ease, well my big 3 words post a debate in class were, hi I am so and so (swallow the name ) and apologize awkwardly for taking a different stance, than what she took,this was uttered in the presence of other female company, well it was embarrassing, now whAt I actually wanted to do was to tell her was she looked absolutely gorgeous, and I absolutely loved the way her eye lids looked, even if I uttered my actual intentions, it would have still been eerie, "eyelids"? , I met her after college once during a heavy metal concert, I wanted to go speak, my heart out, the alcohol made me fool hardy, that is the only time i regret not saying something when i was drunk, was way too high for my own good, so attended the concert, threw up in the makeshift loo, broke the makeshift loo and got thrown out, by that time India had lost to bangladesh ending all hopes of India making it through the first round of the world cup

Now to the serious stuff, why would I write about something this absurd, 2 chance encounters and with a memory which none of the unwilling participants would remember except me, these are the memories life is built on, life for me has always been a perennial question of what if .?

There is a song my Metallica where the last lines of the song convey this idea, " given a chance would I have lived my life differently and made different choices" the protagonist in the song claims she has no regrets, trust me I do and I still do :)

A sad post with absolutely no semblance of punctuation

Autocorrect on the IPad is worse than my spelling

Another one bites the dust continued due to my IPAD conking off

Well apart from the rubbish written in the last post what I wanted to conclud the blog was that
Life is the same
I have become healthier I play twice every fortnight now
I have been the laziest MBA grad this side of the vindhyas, the MBA has absolutely everything to do with my laziness
Have"nt read a whole lot since the beginning of this year, and I am the proud owner of 13000 pirated books, 400 gigs of comics including Hindi comics like super commando dhruv and Nagraj, the Hindi collection includes absurdly vague ones like srimathi, pinkie and billu
Reread Y the last man, 100 bullets, lone wolf and cub, planning to upload the entire set of flash comics on to the pad


And yew all you folks who bought a kindle and admonished me for picking up the pad, I can read comics in color

Another one bites the dust

Well another post begins with a "well" now the last time I wrote something was 12 pages on paper illustrating how the iPad would revolutionize the way people would read their morning newspapers on the pot -it did feel quite nice when people finally figure out you have a wicked and absurd and an awful sense of imagination

Now now the blog kind of buddy's me on the left shoulder blade and tells me do you remember the title of the blog you wanted to write about something specific - the man writing this blog at 1 in the morning jolts up and says -- yes I do -- these ironic words before the dashes are the primary reason behind the post


The post title does give a pretty good hint on what my thoughts on getting hitched ought to be, my current age seems to be one where majority of the junta I know seem to get married, so a week back on a nice little high caused primarily by a lot of whiskey - which Was caused by Working on a Friday night till 12 which in turn was caused by nothing but an absurdly bad combination of laziness, an awful project group in which moi being the most junior member had absolutely no say in abandoning the meeting to be spent in the company of a decent bit of alcohol at Harry"s a pub with 2 sets of customers me and my co workers, so let me stop digressing from the point and get back to what I wanted to say - " sometimes I do write a blog like a 16 year old teenage girl who can't keep her mouth shut"

Well nothing really bad happened apart from me calling good old friends from pilani currently living in exile in the states, I must have called about 5 or 6 of them and 4 of them had a very similar thought, when are you sending the invite? I politely explained that I was not getting hitched in the near future and I just called them for the heck of it, Iam to blame for this cause I don't chat at all, I rarely post anything on facebook and now considering all these 4 chaps are pretty good friends and 3 are getting married within the next couple of months, I said to myself that there must have been some truth, am I actually ready to be married and asked myself a bunch of key questions

A) do I want to get married?
B) Do I really want to get married?
C) Are you out of your wits you want to get married now?

Well the answer to me is still pretty ambiguous, so. 2 key takeaways from this post, the next time I call anyone after a real long time trust me I am not getting hitched, the other never post in a forum where no one reads it, post it on Facebook

Btw just out of curiosity googled up for iim shaadi/ matrimony to see if there was a business opportunity in starting an iimshaadi just like the iimjobs website, which I admit is not a very good analogy but turns out there is a website called mbashaadi.com, post that I gave up and decided to write the blog

Apart from the random cow/bull crap ( let us not be sexist) crap is the same

Still in Bangalore
Almost 3 years in my second job, now want to get the hell out of this city considering my folks are not going to be very chill with the idea of both of us staying in separate houses in the same city