Tuesday, February 28, 2006

me of course

Ennui 1.11

Another arbit general post just to check if i could type without commiting a spelling mistake.

well marketing surely is going places, i see an ad for cough drops behind a pack of matches. well that is quite a brilliant place, considering the fact that match sticks are bought usually by smokers.
have'nt slept yet might have a quiz today in macro, have to get up and mug for it got something like a hr to kill before class
will come back and post something sane

Still a duffer

I still hate computers even though i spend almost 24 hrs on one

gee : seriously thinkin will take farming as a career

Arbit v 1.1 continued

want to get into a field where u are the one who is omnipotent the master the creator of a new verse, the verse which shall behold the veracity of virtue , whoa what was this stoned again, was havin a conversation with a friend who believes he is an atheist, well as they go his arguement was everything is evolving and it is an accident we are here, me aint that great a believr but go according to him , it is kinda sad that you are out here leading a life with no one watching you?
belief beholds me that iam an actor the protagonist in a play written by someone with me having a major part to play in this Play which is my life , i belive that some people's like Lady diana's play was a super duper hit as we atmilians or rather the whole of india describes a brilliant movie, some people have the knack of maki9ng their play interesting, is it you who is authoring the play or is it the invisible hand which begots the play,?
marquez in his bigraphy says that he never llearnt to spell , same ghere, comprendo votre verse,
par na pas une spelling de correct, ah i cant write french woould love to learn some other tongue, one in just a literal sense, without having to speak to others so let us say an experiment in which maybe you can intone the words as they are intended to be, sounds werid but what say you giive it a try,
back to reality a'int getting any sleep, trying to watch a movie with so many distractions, i did proclaim when i was drunk yesterday, that scienceis trying to be man' new religion, my dad when i was a kid told me to ask 7 questions when u r faced with a fact or a situation , all the W qns he told me when i get an answer to all of these i have comprehended the situation , never have i been able to do so,as i write the mud slinging between both IIMB & IIMC still goes on, me being from B has to have a side, well as usual my illustrous batch mates had to point out that we are being so childish and then go on criticising C for being so childish, i have never seen bigger hypocrites in my life,
a man's belief does make him change , chalo lemme completee my movie, i sincerely hope no one reads this for i promised that whatever i write here would be writte when Iam half asleep,

arbit v 1.1

3 packs of cigarettes, 4 cups of black coffee, really grt music ,, playin in the background, a nice book to read, i guess cant live my life alone , have always been one of those people who would rather be known as steppenwolves, people who always are alone or they fathom that they are always alone, something changed me really, am wondering if iam a misanthrope, could be, have been so stone like , i guess, it is like iam buildin a wall around myself, away from people , friends relationships , family, been consumed by this mad drive of being there, for you, dont know but dont seem to trust anyone, not able to inspire trust in anyone, my words today to a friend of mine , ok rather acquaintance, who was workin towards collectin money towards havin a L^2 on beisn asked help was in plain two words , FUck off, though it was not literally the same, but this deep distrust in human society is diggin into me, yes accepted no man is an island , but am feelin that iam slowly choppin off the oars on the canoe to build a fire

peace , but materialism seems to be the mantra at a B school, iam the jackass says the fuck who inherently is the biggest jackass the earth has ever seen but incidentally the other jackasses dont seem to think the same, their thoughts run " he is the biggest therefore he is the best" dont seem to be communicating well nowadays , really need someone to reinstall the pleasure in livin and that person i presume ought to be me , cause nobody ever comes to u unless they have a need
Ah selfless deeds well sounds romantic, i guess rather be a romantic than being the cynic who is a hypocrite,
little gestures , well people sure are intelligent but the perception that other are less endowed is what hurts me and i go by the same one too,
another meaningless post my my iam really alone tonite ,

Guess ought to take a trip to rediscover myself
will post later Ciao, the unseen passerby

well this could be the crappiest thing that u ave ever heard , listening to last dance with mary jane on repeat, i ought to be sleepin , of the stupidest mushiest thing that could ever happen i guess is fallin in love with a name. sounds corny, but it is ok , nothin lost until i meet a person with the sam e name , which i guess is gonn a be relatively rare
gettin bummed at my workplace, all i can seee is an excel sheet and fiorums tryin to promote a program, innovative idea advertising in forums but feels sad intruding into other people's privacy and i want be a marketing manager, quite a big dilema i have got myself into well sleepin for the nite
p.s two women gave me some really werid looks at the campus was psyched, dont even know them , and in the passin heard a comment about smokin and never seen witout a ciggie, guess ought to quit now, can't have people who dont even know you throw their emphathy on you, havin enuf troubles with people i already know
so am gonnna try or die tryin

Rememorizing:


well well as i have to start a sentence with well , so be it, am still in office, it is gonna be a really long n ite waitin for my other project mates to finish their work so that we could start on the next one, well i guess today is gonna be a long walk home, was doin nothin in particular today, got my assignment, that is to go meet all the proj leaders in the vicinity conduct a research, quite the traditional one , way different from my vision of revolutionising the way work is done at my firm, yup had a chance , blew it, so life goes on as you say, was reading thru other people's blogs , kinda never knew that loads of people felt the same way, surrounded by hypocrites, or rather phonies which incidentally is my fav term to describe anything in the world which is remotely capable of self realisation.
life is kinda suddenly so lonely up here, have all my friends within commuting distance, my family pretty nearby, a call away, but off late have been feelin pretty down, well maybe the d**kin was a bit too much, too many memories out to haunt you from the past, your old failures, well they keep on comin and hittin at you, formulated this nice propaganda for educating kids, well guess wahat almost everyone i told this thing were skeptic about it, more than criticizing the faults , it was more like an attack on how could such a thing work, why cant anyone try anything without having to criticise it for not being their idea, let us see, how it goes about, if it works well an good , finally will have a feeling of accomplishing something after a long time
phonies , copycats , the world is made up of them as u know, was sittin with all mateys on l^2 but as usual the talk always turns out to be bitchin at someone, by people who think they are pretty decent, bloody hypocrites , just realized one thing their life is all about bitchin and gossiping, have no idea what goes on behind by back, but i guess don't give a damn about their opinions, they can have theirs waitin for the wing to come back will cream them, no more introverted chain smoking bozo, ok only the introverted part goes out, enuf is enuf as the new age kids would proclaim in mail tongue,
let us see what can be done, one good thing about today is the feelin that i a'int the only one who is confused, gonaa go try some cheap sunglasses, ciao zztop it is
Tomorrow shall bring me back here hopefully


i have a dream so ? rather vehemently my body refuses to belive what i saw in the dream was real, life just goes on, yup me was this nice c hap singin out to all those who wanted to hear but the echo still hurts me, insomina is better than a lost reality distant , so appeasing, one which gives u power to be omnipotent, the creator, maybe this is why i

ennui ( the original)

Ennui:


kinda gonna be a more sensible post:
anyone reading this:
the masterplan:
work in a firm for about 11 months and then join the mainstream again:
alternate options: mug for civils:
book reading now:
the lives of lennon, did baudoilno by umberto eco: worth a read: am dyin to read the others
am also doin lhasa: a travelouge by some arbit chinese lady:
and the taste of beer a coffe table book: good illustarions
and wikipedia of course:::watched the finals yesterday, was a really sad affair if federer can go through both the no uno and deux like this then god save tennis/:
spent a nice day was cheerful?::
good one after yesterday's fiasco: bloody did not inform wingers who thought tht i had done something really stupid: still got an enigma of uncertainity:
got bloody drunk after 14 cans guess am not the same:
should cut down on drinkin:
read sind's post :
pretty amusing---
tates
bingo ought to hunt for a job tommorow:
meet the bank chappies:
ought to have another fite with gundu:
control your emotions:
hee hee:::::::
me touching artificiality :
just a whisker away:
keep enuf control of ur bloody emotions:
the dark mysterious chappie still remains:

g:::nite:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Ennui 1.6

Am I a Leftist???:::

hulo thr, Can't use an alter-ego as there are loads of them floatin around, attended this talk by shourie, well he showed us he was good, a goddamn good hypocrite, man his whole lecture was full of stuff like how we should'nt be blamin the system and how we eternlly tend to do the same, he in fact talked about an utopian situation in which the government and the legistative bodies are seperate, and end of it our man blames the bloody system, a nice qn fielded by a mallu: ( leftist of course) on the theory of marxism and how exactly we view it??? shourie lost it he was agitated but he bein what he is took it in his stride , the usual blamin congress , cpi(m) everythin happened, one more thing many of us were lookin at a professor who is a part of the cong thinktank, he was pretty subdued today, maybe did'nt want to cause a scene:)): believe it i do have socialist tendencies, living in a country like india, u have a consience u are bound to have it: but am on the way to bein Napoleon( The head Honcho in Animal farm): ah another friggin grey area, lack another term to explain it, am wanderlust and lost::, gee it is raining, the rains alwys bring u to u a cheerful mood, well have to start workin on the paper, will do it in some 10-15 mins: long time no posts
Reading:
The island of the Day before: eco
The entire Rabbit series: updike:
a clockwork Orange: burgess
the age of capitalism:
some arbit mad issues:
D: will keep this updated
p.s : my first experience with theft : Lost around 1600 yesterday:
dad is bloody pissed about me being careless:
dont know whether to look for a job:
Chalo will post tomm:
Yesterday:::

Ennui 1.5

The VoiD

well i guess the only reason im what Iam is cause there is nothin much left to protest against, if i had been born 20 years before my time i most probably would have been a leftist or rather on an extreme one who believes in using voilent means of achieving the ends, anywhere at any other particular time and placem, i could have been a part of the french revolution or a part of the ANC or even the indian freedom struggle but i gues would have fought alongside bose and not gandhi, for youth rather believes in urgency and more concrete measures, now in this current scenario what am i supposed to oppose, im not being suppressed and rebels are now trendy like arundathi roy, social work is being accorded superstar status with actors and actress with bulgin cleavages out to adopt people and villages yes this is a good trend but what does it represt, a bulgin void, where hypocrisy and arbitness rule supreme, what do i do? life currently seems o be a null a bleak thing, i know uiam on the way to becoming a leading financer of our times , will most probaly be, and what do i do after that, suddently nothin seems as passionate as it ought to be updike has lost his sheen so has camus, once i would read books with a passion, it is not there anymore doin it out of boredom


?????
will post rest klatert, as usual excuse moi speeliin

Ennui 1.4

Blog wars

about this iipm thingie up on the web, now find it hilarious, finally we might have a law on personal opinion and still wondering, if a blog is considered as a public message and can people be sued for a private post , let us say, i've a board at my house sayin "iipm sux", can i be sued for defaming a institute which dares to think beyond the iims( pun intended of course) or how does it matter , it is my opinion, well so much for free speech, if a guy loses his job , over it, that is quite pathetic, well me do know some kids studyin out there, have seen their campus in blore, nothin great , another one of these miraculous groomin schools which promise to make u into a guru( aka pygmalion)
personal slander , raed some of the comments on the RB's blog, kinda feel sad to know that people can be so pathetic, heights dude, really am waitin for the suit to go thru, will be fun to know what the judges declare, am being a part of the blog wars , but seriously how pathetic can u get, and here is it in bold letters, " iipm sux " go ahead sue me, anyways plannin to file for bankruptcy does'nt matter well another post and the idea is on whose side iam ,

on a personal note , nothin much appenin in life , met a women on the bus to cbe , liked her, like the fool iam, not gonnna do much about it, we really did hit of well , but i guess if it has to happen , will happen

Ennui 1.3

The Lonely Blog

well been ages since i posted, nothin much interestin happenin, was goin thru a blog of a stripper in new york, damn she writes well, nice one waitin for her book, read some more bitsian blogs, this is one really lonely blog, well made a huge mistake of puttin up this link on orkut, i thght noone bothered, but of all the people my sis reads it, no interestin thght other than the fact that the next post is mostly gonna be in french, plannin to pick up the language,

chuck will post l;ater

Finally It Loads

Well Nothin new on my frony, kinda feelin gloomy, Papa is not keepin well and on top of that , he still belives that we are kids and tryin to shield us from whatever is happening,admire that but , it kinda puts me in a werid situation, love mom and dad a lot, well from my perspective, anyone whom i call once in a while are these people, plannin to go home tommorow, and come back for the mid terms, will call up tommorow and then figure out what to do? sis is peaceful, she already has loads of things on her head with me also on top of that, kinda have to have a honest talk with mom and dad: was dopey after being woken up in sleep , did not exactly speak properly will call em up and then let us see:

read somethin like i killed a pair of matin mosquitoes: was funny in a werid way so it is here
read this stud level play by ibsen wild duck: nice one an idealist tryin to reform his friend's life": why?--- to undo the wrongs done to him by his dad: and he ends up bunglin it and gets his friend's daughter killed: well nice one , it talks about hope : i.e the eternal hope as a medicine against despair, well it is false, but it is the only way some of us can go livin: nice one loved it
still reading Flounder by grass, and absurdist artistic piece of crap, which can be classified as a Fart epic: kudos to him and his imagination, well written though in a macro sense, it adresses the difference in sexes , the parity between them and brings about a nice arguement on a matriachial society, interesting read but as with all other Grasses it is heavy and tiring:

nothin much other than the fact that summers is appenin out here, good recruitments this yr, hope the trend lasts: That is it, will post tomm