what is in a Name?

hopefully a post , started on a post twice and then stopped it halfway through:
life has beeen quite pleasant the last 7 months, nothing interesting happened other than being bit by bees , getting ur fingers nipped on writing paper not once nor twice but an unprecedented 4 times, getting 3 tetnaus shotrs for getting cut by rust iron on my cot in the last 8 months.
the year that was 2006 had to be the most injury and sickness prone year in my life
started on a bad note ,
january: had a fever , a smokers cough , exams and other stuff
february : was quite ok , other than a bruise and a limp caused by a rougue piece of iron jutting out of my cot
March: nothing much
april: bloody hell breaks out , get really sick ,on a posiotive note quit smoking for about 74 days ,started after coming back to campus

Late december : get stung by bees

In the intermediate months , got cut by paper, swiss knife, nail clipper , shoes and what not , even by a badminton racquet

as u would have guessed not quite a momentous year in my life , would be quite happy that the year has paased by without any more dire consequences

but on the other hand , found some self belief in the fact that i quit smoking for about 2 odd months , generating a faint sliver of hope that i may be able to quit it one day , my short temeperd outbursts which used to be at the rate of about one every 20 minutes have gone down drastically, and to top everything, spent about 3 odd months of quality time at home, did'nt pick a single argument with papa ,no major ones. quite an uneventful yaer i must say

so on that note , a real happy year for moi atleast , on a corny seedy and a hopelessly romantic note , experienced the joy of lving last year

adios blog

The beginning:

The beginning:
Far away at the horizon stood the steed
With its head held high in mighty pride
They came to steal the bride
Wanderers, vandals, hooligans, vamoose
All look upon and ostracize

The convert looked at the suns glow
He remarked never have I seen a sight
So warming and enervating thy senile piety
Never have I seen a man grovel in his apathy
For a snub is a snub even it comes from the almighty

No man is an island
Pray I am cutting the oars to light a fire
To keep me company

The bride in all her razzle dazzle looked and remarked
Behold the day is here at the darkest of the night
When the winds blow high and nigh
The knight shall come to me
On a white sand beach shall I give away my embrace


They came on horses reeking of flesh
Cast in iron were their faces
They gave away covert glances
Mighty were their vices
They demanded very high prices

Hypothesize a dinner given by the pride
Where the animals laid a feast for the deer
Invited were the main dishes, so were the rabbits for appetizers
They came to prey on her
Where was the knight?

Answered the voices
They come only in fairy tales
Don’t be a dreamer said the old maid
Life is full of unwarranted surprises
He will come said the bride assuredly

Wanted is he amongst the masses
Time he does not have for farces
Said the dark lord
Do the needful, bring her to me
Have to see what fancies the bride to be

Poverty:((((

I see a woman holding a child and begging at a railway platform
I see a 6 year old kid washing plates at the local dhaba
I see a kid working in a Mechanic shed opposite a school
I see lepers flaunting their disease outside the temple
I see a woman working with a kid bawling by her side at a construction site
I see people doing their morning ablutions at the railway track
I see a family of eight sleeping in a single shack
I see families sleeping in front of shop fronts
I read about farmer suicides every other day on the eighth page on my newspaper
I hear about unclaimed corpses on the streets of Delhi
I hear about what an auto rick wallah has to do to drive a vehicle on Bangalore (he claims he is well off)
I see kids with swelling tummies on BBC
I Read about the alcohol deaths every odd year in tamilnadu
I read about fights happening over Quota implementation (have u ever heard of a protest for improving primary school education)
I see rickshawallahs in Delhi plying ladies weighing about a Ton for a pittance

Well you get the point, things are not exactly as they seem, was reading an article or rather a speech by sainath, he does make a point that farmer suicides and all never make the front-page , it is quite true , all of us want to believe that we are living in a hunky dory world where everything is fine at least that is what TOI wants us to believe , they would cover amitabh’s birthday , but would never cover the plight of a widow with two young kids who have a smile on their face because the cameraman asked them to give a smile ( remember a snap from an article in the India today some 3-4 years back ) , on a personal note , am a staunch believer in primary education , yup we don’t learn much at schools other than some fossilized material about benzene and gravity, but still an equal opportunity is to be given to those kids working in those factories making , beedis, match sticks and crackers.

I remember that there used to be this kid who used to work in the place where I lived in Delhi, this kid was bright, and quite enthused too, he was about 10 years old , kid could not read or write , he smoked and drank, there used to be this jat in that place who used to send the kids on errands to the grocery store, the kid’s commission used to be one cigarette for every pack and he used to get daaru every now and then from that illustrious gentleman. Now the kid used to steal, tell lies and used to badmouth everyone on the road. I used to stay on the 4th floor, One Day on a nice bright afternoon , unusual in Delhi , I was standing on the terrace and smoking a cigarette, I look down and I see this kid washing a fellow tenant’s vehicle, on the same road there were two more kids who were playing cricket. The kid was looking at the other kids with an inscrutable look on his face, I never understood what that look meant, was that a look of longing or that of misery, or of a profound understanding of the world, I felt really bad at that moment, maybe one of those things which u don’t forget, the kid in question got kicked out a week later as he was found with a ring belonging to a friend, never saw him again , his mom came and picked him up , happened to have a conversation with the mom, she spoke a dialect of Hindi which I couldn’t comprehend properly , the kid’s dad had come to Delhi to find work , he ended up as a rickshawallah, he sent for his family, they were 4 kids and a mother , the kid was the youngest one , he fell in love with some other woman , abandoned his family some 8 odd years ago, the eldest son now works as a taxi driver and he does not give a penny home , he apparently has his own family now at the age of 22, the 2 girls were working in a local cloth factory and this kid was the worst of the lot , accused of stealing in some 3 houses where he worked , asked her why she did not send this kid to school , the answer was that if he works I get about 250 odd rupees a month and the kid gets food too, a school was an indulgence according to her , had a 15 min conversation with this woman , I could never really convince her why she should send her kid to school.

Ennui v.1.21

another arbit post
sitting at home feelin proud about the fact that iam not smokin even when iam alone: ok chuck smokin, been stayin in cbe for the past 20 odd days , needed this break and a change in my brilliant lifestyle , in which all that mattered was who is gonna treat me this weekend , free daaru is actually available, if ur friends work and they believe that they have a healthy rate of return in terms of alcohol as soon as i finish my education.
nowadays all the news channels seem to be hell bent on focusing on the reservation issue, my personal opinion, quite indifferent about it, but still feel angry about the fact that people can shun responsibility for an idealogy, it was bloody sick watchin a woman lying with tumor in the ward with not even a single doctor around, that is the only bad part with all these doc chappies marching about, yes it is votebank politics , yes it is harming meritious students, yup some people on reservation may not become as brilliant as other doctors, yes reservation in post graduation is unwanted, but with all of them being true, it does not give them any reason to hold patients as ransom, it is bloody bickering, another brilliant idea is that of economic reservation, nothing wrong with it except for the fact that not many indian's pay taxes, i've personally known a person declaring his dad's income as 12000 p.a when his dad was running a travels company and a trucking service also if iam correct :))
economic reservation is not exactly very realistic in this country: affirmative action : really welcome , but would love it on the primary school front: '
another subject in news, people from other castes can become pujaris in temples according to a new resolution passed by the government: nothing against brahmins but almost everyone being interviewed by a news channel( all of then pujaris) were quite skeptical about this and some spoke quite frnkly as only brahmins can take up this and people born of another caste should never be a pujari( iam slighta confused here) and people say the caste system is on its way out, naah: believe me it is gonna be a long time: people still make a ruckus about quotas:

iam slighta sounding pro reservation: all about me being indifferent:))

watchin almost 1/2 a tam movie everyday, have to make a trip to chennai and pondicherry sometime, it is been a while since i met up with some friends, will do that sometime before hols ,people from my batch have started workin:(( , dee flunkin sure hurts: am actually not reading much nowadays. done with all the books i got from bangalore: chalo high time to end a post and dont trust the broadband connxn here:

Ennui v 2.1 ( an upgrade)

another arbit post on nothingness, have been really vela enough to fill in all this thrash. The copyrights to Emily dickinsion's poems should be bought by some really good rock band, i seriously vouch for the fact that they would be awesome rock ballad's , atleast her 4th set, she is one of the best poet's i've ever read, i actually have'nt read that many, another arbit thought , why cant i use any other punctuation mark other than the comma?

Well firstly it is one of the easiest one's around, a comma gives you a feeling of continuity, an innocous comma just extends a sentence, it gives you a sense of completeness rather than what the full stop gives you, it is not exactly a dead end, it is something which can give birth to another stream of ideas after it is placed and it is also very useful for people who tend to give their written lore a harried speech or rather the ramblings of a bored,confused,mad,pricky,pointy,amorous,articulate,astounded, well you get the point, now let us see how the comma originated, or rather where should it be exactly used, i remember reading an article about the comma, from wiki "According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word "comma" comes directly from the Greek komma, which means "something cut off" or "a short clause", me actually never knew that some comma's had a special name to, again from wiki" A comma before the word "and" or "or" in a list of more than two things is called a serial comma, or an Oxford comma:" oopsie me never learnt this from wren and martin, a book which is majorly responsible for the way i write without following any grammatical rules, another fact about this chut little character again no point in qouting the source again and again "In many European languages, commas are used as decimal separators. The only English-speaking country which uses this convention is South Africa. Thus, "1,5 V" means "one and one-half volts" Hmm can't write any more technical drab about the comma, According to me a comma is a lover's continual of a sentence, chee how seedy can i get, it is the continuation of the unfinished symphony, lemme end this sentence here for a comma can also mean that you never know when to finish a sentence

Miracle

Every drop of rain that falls in Sahara Desert says it all,
It's a miracle,
All God's creations great and small, the Golden Gate and the Taj Mahal,
That's a miracle,
Test tube babies being born, mothers, fathers dead and gone,
It's a miracle,
We're having a miracle on earth, mother nature does it all for us,
The wonders of this world go on, the hanging Gardens of Babylon,
Captain Cook and Cain and Able, Jimi Hendrix to the Tower of Babel
It's a miracle, it's a miracle, it's a miracle, it's a miracle,
The one thing we're all waiting for, is peace on earth - an end to war,
It's a miracle we need - the miracle, the miracle we're all waiting for today,
If every leaf on every tree, could tell a story that would be a miracle,
If every child on every street, had clothes to wear and food to eat,
That's a miracle,
If all God's people could be free, to live in perfect harmony,
It's a miracle, we're having a miracle on earth,
Mother nature does it all for us
Open hearts and surgery, Sunday mornings with a cup of tea,
Super powers always fighting,
But Mona Lisa just keeps on smiling,
The wonders of this world go on,
It's a miracle, it's a miracle, it's a miracle, it's a miracle,
The one thing we're all waiting for, is peace on earth and an end to war,
It's a miracle we need, the miracle, the miracle,
Peace on earth and end to war today,
That time will come one day you'll see when we can all be friends,


this is all that i have to say for arsenal being in the finals of the championship

Ennui v .1.01

" No man is an Island
Iam Cutting the oars to build a fire
to keep me company"

Patriot: a dialogue

They say "You never think of your nation as a benign cancer"
"I say forgive me can cancers be benign ?"
They say " The greatest country in the world thinks it is.."
" I ask how can a country be the greatest when it never defines It's own boundaries"
They say "Never think of your nation as a static piece of land, It is an ever evolving mass"
" I ask pray tell me is the imposing of your culture patriotism?"

They look at me astounded " Yes that is the true sign of a person who worships his country "
"I look around despondent and ask what about patriots in other places?"
They say "They are not patriots "our neighbours" they are nationalists"
" I laugh and agree that they are nationalists"
p.s I dont get my head chopped off

place and time of the dialogue:
Circa 2045:The U.S.A
1938: Somewhere in the nazi regime

Another dialogue

DEATH is a dialogue between
The spirit and the dust.
“Dissolve,” says Death. The Spirit, “Sir,
I have another trust.”

Death doubts it, argues from the ground. 5
The Spirit turns away,
Just laying off, for evidence,
An overcoat of clay.

"Emily dickinson"

Save the sparrow:

http://www.birding.in/birds/Passeriformes/Passeridae/house_sparrow.htm

Iam not exactly an Ornithologist, i cant name birds except for the few very popular ones, but i do find the sight of them really cheerful on a nice wintry morning, well this post was supposed to about the house sparrow, or the avian erat which inhabits most cities, they have been one constant companion throughout my life, the first place i missed them was noida, i could never see a sparrow, try whenever i wake up, moved to delhi,there the sightings atl;east happened, pilani was full of them , coimbatore, never really rememebr seeing them, atleast not in the current house we inhabit:

bangalore, i actually am yet o see a sparrow, i stay at IIM Bangalore, a really beautiful campus, an oasis of green in this concrete desert: but Iam yet to see this chut little bird, ven on campus, maybe Iam not looking at the right places or Iam not being observant enough , I still can't understand what happened to this birdie;

I have a weaver bird right outside my window, he is actually decent company, manages to wake me up every other morning, but still the sparrow is a sparrow, the last sighting i managed to make was in a small town some 45 odd km from banaglore, had gone down with some friends for their rural mktng project, for linguistic reasons,

There in the middle of the day, i saw him , the first sparrow after almost 800 days, that single sight was worth travelling for some 2 odd hours on a pathetic road, maybe i could have seen him earlier, but thi little fella was special, he was right there in the middle of the town's market:

this post was supposed to be made some n days ago after the sighting, well really do hope someone takes the sparrow under his wing , just like the tigers have been taken, hopefully not handled the same way as them , Sarsika was a disaster: My descendants are most likely gonna be seeing either genitically cloned big cats or stuffed ones at some nice club:

I dont know anything about the status of the sparrow, i could actually do an itsy bit of research before posting this , but i have'nt seen one in ages and i do believe my eyes, it is just gonna happen like what happened to the vultures, they just faded away, all i can see in the sky is R.K Laxman's favorite birds, :

This link has some nice videos and snaps of what else the house sparrow
http://www.arkive.org/species/ARK/birds/Passer_domesticus/

Btw they are on the high conservation list atleast in britan, when we guys can't stop poaching some 3000 odd tigers available in the wild, i seriously believe no one is gonna give a damn about this little creature,

I would love to say adopt a sparrow now:))

P.s
My posts suddenly seem to have taken a weird turn, i promise no more posts like a place called home and all: will add two more dialogues tonight

Quit smoking

Ok It has been time and i have to stop smoking, before it becomes too late,
when did i start smoking? i presume, It was after my 12th board exams before i joined pilani. I smoked about a pack of cigarettes before i joined pilani, started smoking in my 2nd term again
let us put a timeline
2000- started smoking
2001- doing about a pack a day
2002- increases to about 15-20 cigarettes a day
2003- shoots upto 20-35 cigarettes a day
2004- mayhem , smoke about 40-60 cigarettes a day
2005- Restoration of sanity- back to 20 cigarettes a day increases after june to about 30 odd cigarettes a day
2006- still on 30 cigarettes a day

April 19th 2006
write this post out of desperation have to quit smoking! high time i guess

Phase out : Plan to smoke about a pack tommorow, nothing more , nothing less,

Have to stock my room with fruits and other eatables, so that whenever i feel like having something , dont start smoking

Now a daily timeline for the initial phase

7.00 a.m :Smoke the first cigarette
8.00 a.m:breakfast: Smoke the second cigarette
10 a.m: may smoke a cigarette
12.30 p.m:Have Lunch: Smoke 4th cigarette
3.00 p.m:have coffe smoke 5th cigarette
5.00 p.m:smoke 6th cigarette
6.45 p.m:smoke 7th cigarette
8.00 p.m:Have dinner: smoke 8th cigarette
9.45 p.m:smoke 9th cigarette
10.30 p.m:snacks and a late night snack: smoke 10th cigarette
12.00 p.m:smoke 11th cigarette: have to avoid this or cut down somewhere in between


Now let us see if i can adhere to this schedule: starting tommorow, the nicotine withdrawal phase
Money saved on a daily basis : about Rs 55 a day
Health gain,: hopefully should be there

3 months from now 2nd phase commences:
which would be 5 ciggies a day

6 months from now: cigarettes only after Grub and during drinking sessions

12 months: ought to quit this by the time i graduate and move on to cigars

ought to find another addiction

Arbit post v1.9

Talking of indian writers in english, i always felt that they were a little bit sad, except for rushdie, he was quite a master and he has been losing his vison to cionjure stories, shalimar the crown was a farce, so was fury, even the highly hyped satanic verses was also slighta shallow, shame, ground beneath her feet, and midnight's children are the ones which i would rate really high.

R.K Narayan , a highly acclaimed author never really interested moi, i always found his tales really simple, and not exactly to my taste, accepted it is his simplicity and his characters who are really not affected by any major event happening around in the world are what he is famous fopr, but sometimes it is just too simple and straight, never could appreciate him much:

others, vikram seth should be working for balaji teleflims, he would do really welll, after reading a suitable boy, which is not at all different from another one of our tele serials , i did not even bother to read an equal music, hopefully he writes something that will make me change :((, but mostly not in the near future,

ruskin bond was brilliant, i still remember "A room on the roof" which i read when i was about 9 years old, he really was good

chk this link

http://ruskinbond.rediffblogs.com/

I feel too lazy to do the html temp for the link, so just copy paste it

Now what is the point of this post??

Hmm i wanted to write about the doyen of ind Lit : R.K narayan and why i dont like him:

1) too simple
2) Too real for my taste
3) there is never a protagonist who is the archetypal Hero
4) Everyone is so really good( as in there is usually no really negative characters in any book)
5) it is too direct
6) There are never any hidden agenda's no plots
7) the visual imagery was never that real, it was like being at home and watching a family show
8) No takes on anything
9) His entire book was set in a isolated world , where things that happened anywhere else never had any real effect, except for the quit india movement
10) they do sometimes tend to drag a little bit
11) i still consider malgudi His best character ever. unfortunately he could never make any of his protagonists the way he made malgudi.


will edit this post if i can think of any more stuff

P.s i love the way he represnts a place , that is one really good thing about his writing, the Cities or villages are always Full of life , even though a distant one:

Reading R.K Narayan is like having curd rice, with the pickles proving a small hint of taste once in a while

Buddhabrot and Buttarchives:

The profile pic on my page is actually quite interesting:

Chk out this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhabrot

Both me and beedi are gonna write a series on Bhattad , planning to do a post a day:

let us see how it goes:

Chk this even if you dontcheck the above link, introducing the World;s First Transvestite Superhero: BUTTman:

http://buttarchives.blogspot.com/

The comic strips will be up, once when i learn to draw:

A place called home: Part 1

Stayin at Bangalore, u mite presume is one of the best things to happen, I also thiught the same, i loved my hometown Coimbatore, a nice quiet sleepy City, full of Millionaires and Lots of little hills to trek all over the place, Traffic at it's busiest junction could be the compared to that on Bannerghatta road on Sunday afternoons: But Of course it does have all the necessary aminities like a Pizza Hut and an Adidas Store, the only worry i ever had was what if the communal riots that rocked the place in the late 90's would recurr??

I actually was not at all affected by all that Bombs going on out in the city, we lived in quite a sensible neighbourhood, where the only explosion was that of a gas cylinder which claimed the life on unlucky fellow :

It has been eight years if I'am correct Since those stupid riots, It is still the same city, a pLace which I could actually call home: I never really stayed at a place long enough to remember it as well as this City,

Madras---->Gudiyattham----->Vellore---->Manathavady----->Dinanagar----->Awankha----->Coimbatore---->Pilani---->Bangalore---->??

I presume other than 3 places all the other places can't be exactly identified even with a map in your hand

Was born in Madras have quite a Huge bunch of relatives out there, usually people whom i tend to sty away from , the exception being my sis who currently resides in chennai, I kinda always liked the place, the city was Sultry, dirty, Full of Cranky autowallahs,and a lovely beach,

Madras was the place I always used to go during holidays, from all those places where I stayed in, we used to spend about 15 days at madras, followed by a trip to salem , then to my mom's ancestral place Theevatipatti, another curious thing, almost all the villages near Omalur which is near salem have names which end with a patti, Pusaripatti, neikarpatti are the ones which i remember now, when i take a bus from coimbatore to Bnagalore, You usually pass through all these places.
I have'nt actually gone there in some 7 odd years : Theevatipatti was usually loads of fun, almost all my Maternal cousins would Land up there, and we used to be a huge bunch of people out there, I used to lead my cousins on treks over small hillocks , there used to be loads of them: We used to play cricket, and loads of stupid word games, and maybe ludo and Trade too, All i rember was that these excursions started getting a little bugging after i turned 12 odd, I was heavily into books then, Had read almost all the books that were at home, I actually was quite a heavy reader then, two newspapers, Time, Reader's Digest, India today and 3-4 Novels a week( and the odd debonair which me and my friend hammy used to flick from his uncle)of course noone knew about this extra bit of reading. when books happened, U actually did not want to travel when u could do it sitting at the lawns on a nice sunny day during winter.
then the trip to my dad;s ancestral place Pullur, it is actually quite a small village, It got it's own bus service sometime in the late 90's : to reach there, you had to take a bus to chennai from salem. This village was about 225 Km from Madras , u had to stop at a get down at a place called Veppur , Pullur was about 5 odd Km from here, once in a while You would get a taxi , which usually was a rare sight in those parts, but yes there was this ambassador which i do remember: otherwise, there used to be someone from my grampa's farm out there to recieve as anytime of the day, there used to be this rickety Tvs 50 , which used to carry our luggage, while me and my family walked , This was when i was about 8-9 , that is when , u actually did not mind walking, Papa used to tell us a story usually,and it used to be quite nice, u were the only people on the road, another Vivid memory is that i actually never remember anyone wearing a pair of trousers, of course the kids and the early 20 group did wear them, : it used to be a place full of vesthi's ::

There was a small rivulet on the way, which as far as i remeber was always a dry bed, there was another one about 2 km from my Grampa's place, It was called by a quite peculiar name, which I cannot recollect now; We used to go to that place with an uncle, there used to loads of my relations all over the place, all of them owned land and somehow, you came to Understand that everyone you saw was a relative, There used to be one really Old Thattha, he was somehow related to us , and he served in the indian army and actaully fought in WW II, he was fighting for britan in europe, he stuck out as an oddity , because he used to converse in english with all of us kid's
He was another nice story teller:
Speaking of story telling, Both My grand mom's were brilliant, they used to be a source of brilliant entertainment : even when a televison was there, I stayed with Thatta -Patti In vellore for a year i guess, My uncle was also there, while my parents were at Manathavady: Gotta end this post, It is getting quite long and i have'nt even finished the chennai part,: will post later::


P.s got a nice background for my blog, It is a painting by dali, It does make reading it quite a bit troublesome , but actually not taht many People read it, If u are reading it Please scroll Down, It becomes quite clear on the Top Right:

And the usual : It is gonna be full of spelling mistakes, and Ylrs'que sentences as alllen calls what I write

Lucifer (A dialogue)

"They call me a fallen angel"
I deny That
I say i was martyred to the cause of equality
"They remind me It was not equality for what i was exiled"
I say your belief makes you overlook the obvious
" They say belief is a part of creation"
I say belief is the lens through which the people see
" They ask me do i believe ?"
I say i believe in creation but not in a creator
" They ask if it was not for a creator where would I be ?"
I say Iam there because i exist
" They ask how do you exist if You were not created "
I say i exist just like the craetor has to exist for creation
" They tell me It is a paradox "
I agree Remind them everything is a Paradox
" They ask me if everything is a paradox, why is there reason? ""
I say I'm tired and have to take a bath and will ontinue the dialogue in the next post

Wanderer In The Sky

I'am just a Wanderer in the sky
Pink Pink I'm slated to die
Iam a Villan fated to cry
Iam a Messiah wanting to kill
Iam a werido with Chutpzah
Iam a gringo ringing a bell
Iam a lunatic Blessed with sanity
Iam a picture waiting to be framed
Iam a Pitcher waiting to be filled
Iam barren with Kids
Iam a sadist who believes in not eating chicken
Iam Hope within misery
Iam the the dot of light in a black hole
Iam Smoke without ashes
Iam what Iam
Iam ........ lucifer with a Pony tail


arbit piece written before a bus ride to delhi from pilani circa 2004( i guess)

Describe people whom u know in a line:))( what a corny and sordid post this is gonna be)

Allen Rodrigues: Hot tempered and brilliant drinking company
Jitendra Buttad: The ideal Gay lover ( sorry mate)
Khimavath srikanth: Hairless wonder who compliments the person above
sundeep Parate: The perpetual gyan machine
venkataka a.s: I object to whatever ur views are( feelin really proud about the fact that i did not have a single argument with him for the whole of 2nd year)
sagar sahu: Rolly polly meat eating maniac

The talkative man

another arbit post

just went thru beedi's blog, have no clue , who this woman is , whoever looked like a goddess, hazarding a guess, that it mite be the same one on whom he was puttin blade on for aeons, but u never know, all the wingers have left except for sandeep, whom i have'nt seen in some days, except for the occasional hulo somewhere near the mess: actually not feeling bad at all, one good thing about this place is that this is never going to invoke any strong memories like pilani, leaving pilani was nightmarish, it actually quite managed to cripple me socially though: Ahah now i can see where Bd gets his inspiration for such a heart rendering description of the womaan: now any man who quotes dialogues from sincity and that too Marv's has to be either senile or really cocky, well knowing him , it has to be the former, got some interesting gossip from last L^2
gonna be wary of one chap atleast:))

ok gotta end this post, feeling bloody good, found a book , which i had lost some 2 years earlier, the book was quite special :

it is actually no fun watching soccer matches alone, gonna miss baada on that count, bd usually turns up for one or 2 matches, but baada was decent company for innumerable soccer matches during this 2 year stint here: have to get a treat from him on some count atleast

The wolf is here

adopt your own virtual pet!

me of course

Ennui 1.11

Another arbit general post just to check if i could type without commiting a spelling mistake.

well marketing surely is going places, i see an ad for cough drops behind a pack of matches. well that is quite a brilliant place, considering the fact that match sticks are bought usually by smokers.
have'nt slept yet might have a quiz today in macro, have to get up and mug for it got something like a hr to kill before class
will come back and post something sane

Still a duffer

I still hate computers even though i spend almost 24 hrs on one

gee : seriously thinkin will take farming as a career

Arbit v 1.1 continued

want to get into a field where u are the one who is omnipotent the master the creator of a new verse, the verse which shall behold the veracity of virtue , whoa what was this stoned again, was havin a conversation with a friend who believes he is an atheist, well as they go his arguement was everything is evolving and it is an accident we are here, me aint that great a believr but go according to him , it is kinda sad that you are out here leading a life with no one watching you?
belief beholds me that iam an actor the protagonist in a play written by someone with me having a major part to play in this Play which is my life , i belive that some people's like Lady diana's play was a super duper hit as we atmilians or rather the whole of india describes a brilliant movie, some people have the knack of maki9ng their play interesting, is it you who is authoring the play or is it the invisible hand which begots the play,?
marquez in his bigraphy says that he never llearnt to spell , same ghere, comprendo votre verse,
par na pas une spelling de correct, ah i cant write french woould love to learn some other tongue, one in just a literal sense, without having to speak to others so let us say an experiment in which maybe you can intone the words as they are intended to be, sounds werid but what say you giive it a try,
back to reality a'int getting any sleep, trying to watch a movie with so many distractions, i did proclaim when i was drunk yesterday, that scienceis trying to be man' new religion, my dad when i was a kid told me to ask 7 questions when u r faced with a fact or a situation , all the W qns he told me when i get an answer to all of these i have comprehended the situation , never have i been able to do so,as i write the mud slinging between both IIMB & IIMC still goes on, me being from B has to have a side, well as usual my illustrous batch mates had to point out that we are being so childish and then go on criticising C for being so childish, i have never seen bigger hypocrites in my life,
a man's belief does make him change , chalo lemme completee my movie, i sincerely hope no one reads this for i promised that whatever i write here would be writte when Iam half asleep,

arbit v 1.1

3 packs of cigarettes, 4 cups of black coffee, really grt music ,, playin in the background, a nice book to read, i guess cant live my life alone , have always been one of those people who would rather be known as steppenwolves, people who always are alone or they fathom that they are always alone, something changed me really, am wondering if iam a misanthrope, could be, have been so stone like , i guess, it is like iam buildin a wall around myself, away from people , friends relationships , family, been consumed by this mad drive of being there, for you, dont know but dont seem to trust anyone, not able to inspire trust in anyone, my words today to a friend of mine , ok rather acquaintance, who was workin towards collectin money towards havin a L^2 on beisn asked help was in plain two words , FUck off, though it was not literally the same, but this deep distrust in human society is diggin into me, yes accepted no man is an island , but am feelin that iam slowly choppin off the oars on the canoe to build a fire

peace , but materialism seems to be the mantra at a B school, iam the jackass says the fuck who inherently is the biggest jackass the earth has ever seen but incidentally the other jackasses dont seem to think the same, their thoughts run " he is the biggest therefore he is the best" dont seem to be communicating well nowadays , really need someone to reinstall the pleasure in livin and that person i presume ought to be me , cause nobody ever comes to u unless they have a need
Ah selfless deeds well sounds romantic, i guess rather be a romantic than being the cynic who is a hypocrite,
little gestures , well people sure are intelligent but the perception that other are less endowed is what hurts me and i go by the same one too,
another meaningless post my my iam really alone tonite ,

Guess ought to take a trip to rediscover myself
will post later Ciao, the unseen passerby

well this could be the crappiest thing that u ave ever heard , listening to last dance with mary jane on repeat, i ought to be sleepin , of the stupidest mushiest thing that could ever happen i guess is fallin in love with a name. sounds corny, but it is ok , nothin lost until i meet a person with the sam e name , which i guess is gonn a be relatively rare
gettin bummed at my workplace, all i can seee is an excel sheet and fiorums tryin to promote a program, innovative idea advertising in forums but feels sad intruding into other people's privacy and i want be a marketing manager, quite a big dilema i have got myself into well sleepin for the nite
p.s two women gave me some really werid looks at the campus was psyched, dont even know them , and in the passin heard a comment about smokin and never seen witout a ciggie, guess ought to quit now, can't have people who dont even know you throw their emphathy on you, havin enuf troubles with people i already know
so am gonnna try or die tryin

Rememorizing:


well well as i have to start a sentence with well , so be it, am still in office, it is gonna be a really long n ite waitin for my other project mates to finish their work so that we could start on the next one, well i guess today is gonna be a long walk home, was doin nothin in particular today, got my assignment, that is to go meet all the proj leaders in the vicinity conduct a research, quite the traditional one , way different from my vision of revolutionising the way work is done at my firm, yup had a chance , blew it, so life goes on as you say, was reading thru other people's blogs , kinda never knew that loads of people felt the same way, surrounded by hypocrites, or rather phonies which incidentally is my fav term to describe anything in the world which is remotely capable of self realisation.
life is kinda suddenly so lonely up here, have all my friends within commuting distance, my family pretty nearby, a call away, but off late have been feelin pretty down, well maybe the d**kin was a bit too much, too many memories out to haunt you from the past, your old failures, well they keep on comin and hittin at you, formulated this nice propaganda for educating kids, well guess wahat almost everyone i told this thing were skeptic about it, more than criticizing the faults , it was more like an attack on how could such a thing work, why cant anyone try anything without having to criticise it for not being their idea, let us see, how it goes about, if it works well an good , finally will have a feeling of accomplishing something after a long time
phonies , copycats , the world is made up of them as u know, was sittin with all mateys on l^2 but as usual the talk always turns out to be bitchin at someone, by people who think they are pretty decent, bloody hypocrites , just realized one thing their life is all about bitchin and gossiping, have no idea what goes on behind by back, but i guess don't give a damn about their opinions, they can have theirs waitin for the wing to come back will cream them, no more introverted chain smoking bozo, ok only the introverted part goes out, enuf is enuf as the new age kids would proclaim in mail tongue,
let us see what can be done, one good thing about today is the feelin that i a'int the only one who is confused, gonaa go try some cheap sunglasses, ciao zztop it is
Tomorrow shall bring me back here hopefully


i have a dream so ? rather vehemently my body refuses to belive what i saw in the dream was real, life just goes on, yup me was this nice c hap singin out to all those who wanted to hear but the echo still hurts me, insomina is better than a lost reality distant , so appeasing, one which gives u power to be omnipotent, the creator, maybe this is why i

ennui ( the original)

Ennui:


kinda gonna be a more sensible post:
anyone reading this:
the masterplan:
work in a firm for about 11 months and then join the mainstream again:
alternate options: mug for civils:
book reading now:
the lives of lennon, did baudoilno by umberto eco: worth a read: am dyin to read the others
am also doin lhasa: a travelouge by some arbit chinese lady:
and the taste of beer a coffe table book: good illustarions
and wikipedia of course:::watched the finals yesterday, was a really sad affair if federer can go through both the no uno and deux like this then god save tennis/:
spent a nice day was cheerful?::
good one after yesterday's fiasco: bloody did not inform wingers who thought tht i had done something really stupid: still got an enigma of uncertainity:
got bloody drunk after 14 cans guess am not the same:
should cut down on drinkin:
read sind's post :
pretty amusing---
tates
bingo ought to hunt for a job tommorow:
meet the bank chappies:
ought to have another fite with gundu:
control your emotions:
hee hee:::::::
me touching artificiality :
just a whisker away:
keep enuf control of ur bloody emotions:
the dark mysterious chappie still remains:

g:::nite:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Ennui 1.6

Am I a Leftist???:::

hulo thr, Can't use an alter-ego as there are loads of them floatin around, attended this talk by shourie, well he showed us he was good, a goddamn good hypocrite, man his whole lecture was full of stuff like how we should'nt be blamin the system and how we eternlly tend to do the same, he in fact talked about an utopian situation in which the government and the legistative bodies are seperate, and end of it our man blames the bloody system, a nice qn fielded by a mallu: ( leftist of course) on the theory of marxism and how exactly we view it??? shourie lost it he was agitated but he bein what he is took it in his stride , the usual blamin congress , cpi(m) everythin happened, one more thing many of us were lookin at a professor who is a part of the cong thinktank, he was pretty subdued today, maybe did'nt want to cause a scene:)): believe it i do have socialist tendencies, living in a country like india, u have a consience u are bound to have it: but am on the way to bein Napoleon( The head Honcho in Animal farm): ah another friggin grey area, lack another term to explain it, am wanderlust and lost::, gee it is raining, the rains alwys bring u to u a cheerful mood, well have to start workin on the paper, will do it in some 10-15 mins: long time no posts
Reading:
The island of the Day before: eco
The entire Rabbit series: updike:
a clockwork Orange: burgess
the age of capitalism:
some arbit mad issues:
D: will keep this updated
p.s : my first experience with theft : Lost around 1600 yesterday:
dad is bloody pissed about me being careless:
dont know whether to look for a job:
Chalo will post tomm:
Yesterday:::

Ennui 1.5

The VoiD

well i guess the only reason im what Iam is cause there is nothin much left to protest against, if i had been born 20 years before my time i most probably would have been a leftist or rather on an extreme one who believes in using voilent means of achieving the ends, anywhere at any other particular time and placem, i could have been a part of the french revolution or a part of the ANC or even the indian freedom struggle but i gues would have fought alongside bose and not gandhi, for youth rather believes in urgency and more concrete measures, now in this current scenario what am i supposed to oppose, im not being suppressed and rebels are now trendy like arundathi roy, social work is being accorded superstar status with actors and actress with bulgin cleavages out to adopt people and villages yes this is a good trend but what does it represt, a bulgin void, where hypocrisy and arbitness rule supreme, what do i do? life currently seems o be a null a bleak thing, i know uiam on the way to becoming a leading financer of our times , will most probaly be, and what do i do after that, suddently nothin seems as passionate as it ought to be updike has lost his sheen so has camus, once i would read books with a passion, it is not there anymore doin it out of boredom


?????
will post rest klatert, as usual excuse moi speeliin

Ennui 1.4

Blog wars

about this iipm thingie up on the web, now find it hilarious, finally we might have a law on personal opinion and still wondering, if a blog is considered as a public message and can people be sued for a private post , let us say, i've a board at my house sayin "iipm sux", can i be sued for defaming a institute which dares to think beyond the iims( pun intended of course) or how does it matter , it is my opinion, well so much for free speech, if a guy loses his job , over it, that is quite pathetic, well me do know some kids studyin out there, have seen their campus in blore, nothin great , another one of these miraculous groomin schools which promise to make u into a guru( aka pygmalion)
personal slander , raed some of the comments on the RB's blog, kinda feel sad to know that people can be so pathetic, heights dude, really am waitin for the suit to go thru, will be fun to know what the judges declare, am being a part of the blog wars , but seriously how pathetic can u get, and here is it in bold letters, " iipm sux " go ahead sue me, anyways plannin to file for bankruptcy does'nt matter well another post and the idea is on whose side iam ,

on a personal note , nothin much appenin in life , met a women on the bus to cbe , liked her, like the fool iam, not gonnna do much about it, we really did hit of well , but i guess if it has to happen , will happen

Ennui 1.3

The Lonely Blog

well been ages since i posted, nothin much interestin happenin, was goin thru a blog of a stripper in new york, damn she writes well, nice one waitin for her book, read some more bitsian blogs, this is one really lonely blog, well made a huge mistake of puttin up this link on orkut, i thght noone bothered, but of all the people my sis reads it, no interestin thght other than the fact that the next post is mostly gonna be in french, plannin to pick up the language,

chuck will post l;ater

Finally It Loads

Well Nothin new on my frony, kinda feelin gloomy, Papa is not keepin well and on top of that , he still belives that we are kids and tryin to shield us from whatever is happening,admire that but , it kinda puts me in a werid situation, love mom and dad a lot, well from my perspective, anyone whom i call once in a while are these people, plannin to go home tommorow, and come back for the mid terms, will call up tommorow and then figure out what to do? sis is peaceful, she already has loads of things on her head with me also on top of that, kinda have to have a honest talk with mom and dad: was dopey after being woken up in sleep , did not exactly speak properly will call em up and then let us see:

read somethin like i killed a pair of matin mosquitoes: was funny in a werid way so it is here
read this stud level play by ibsen wild duck: nice one an idealist tryin to reform his friend's life": why?--- to undo the wrongs done to him by his dad: and he ends up bunglin it and gets his friend's daughter killed: well nice one , it talks about hope : i.e the eternal hope as a medicine against despair, well it is false, but it is the only way some of us can go livin: nice one loved it
still reading Flounder by grass, and absurdist artistic piece of crap, which can be classified as a Fart epic: kudos to him and his imagination, well written though in a macro sense, it adresses the difference in sexes , the parity between them and brings about a nice arguement on a matriachial society, interesting read but as with all other Grasses it is heavy and tiring:

nothin much other than the fact that summers is appenin out here, good recruitments this yr, hope the trend lasts: That is it, will post tomm